What If?
by 741N73D 4N63L
Summary: What if Emily Prentiss had contacted the Jareau family after the death of their eldest daughter, her friend, Jessie? Fluff and Angst.
1. August 1989

AN: This was an idea niggling in the back of my mind while I've been working on the sequel to Maybe Baby.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

 **What if?**

* * *

If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one?

Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?

― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

* * *

August 13, 1989

Emily closes the rental car door and frowns at her fingernails; they're bitten to the quick. Then she walks towards the house, being careful not to look at the tree house on the left where she met with Jessie less than two month ago. Emily takes a deep breath and exhales to calm herself before knocking on the front door.

Nothing happens.

Emily shifts her weight from one foot to the other and knocks again. _Maybe this was a bad idea after all. What if they're not home? What if they're angry?_

A woman with wavy blonde hair and red-rimmed eyes answers a minute later. "Hello?"

Emily bites her lip. "Excuse me, are you Mrs. Jareau?"

The woman nods. "Yes, I am. Who are you?"

"My name is Emily Prentiss, ma'am. I was-" she cuts herself off and tries again "I was Jessie's pen pal. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral, but I wanted to come in person to express my deepest condolences to you and your family."

"Pen pal?" She blinks, "Oh, you mean from 6th grade? How did you hear? I mean we didn't put anything in the paper and you haven't spoken with Jessie in years." Her blue eyes narrow, "Have you?"

Emily nods. "Jessie and I have continued to be pen pals for the past few years ma'am. She swallows the lump in her throat. "Jessie wrote me a letter a few weeks ago."

She pales. "I had no idea. Did you bring the letter with you?"

Emily shakes her head. "No ma'am, but if you'll allow me to return another day. I will bring the letter then."

Mrs. Jareau's lips twitch upwards in an imitation of a smile, "Please come inside. Emily, was it?"

Emily nods. "Yes, and thank you."

Mrs. Jareau leads her through the house to the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink, Emily?"

"No, thank you," Emily murmurs and sits down at the table.

Sandy sits down in front of her. "What did the letter say that had you coming all the way out here, but not bringing it for us to read?"

Emily bites her lip. "It said a lot of things ma'am but the most important bit was that Jessie wanted me to check on her sister."

Sandy flinches.

Emily frowns. "I can come back another day Mrs. Jareau if you're not comfortable."

"No. No. Let me just call Jennifer downstairs. She's hardly left her room in the past few weeks. Not since-" She chokes back a sob.

Emily reaches across the table and takes her hand. "I'm really sorry."

Sandy squeezes back. "Thank you." She stands up and walks slowly to the staircase. "Jennifer, come down, please. You have a guest."

Emily can hear the sound of a door opening and closing, followed by light footsteps on the carpeted hallway. She gets up and walks to the doorway just in time to see Jessie's little sister come down the stairs.

Pale blue eyes widen in astonishment.

Emily leans against the wall. Seeing Jennifer is like a punch in the stomach; all the air has gone out of her lungs. _Oh my God, she looks just like the picture Jessie sent!_

"Jennifer," Sandy rests a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "This is-"

Jennifer cuts her off: "Emily."

The hint of a real smile crosses Sandy's face. "You two should go outside to talk. When you come back, we'll have lunch and you can meet my husband and tell us all about yourself."

"Yes mama," Jennifer whispers and opens the front door.

Emily nods and chokes out, "Thank you."

Jennifer walks across the yard and climbs the ladder to the tree house.

Emily follows her silently. When Emily reaches the top,

Jennifer is huddled in a corner, clutching a pillow to her chest. "I didn't think you'd come back," she whispers.

"Back?" Emily murmurs and sits down in another corner.

Jennifer nods, "You were here before. Jessie thought she was being secretive but I knew because she was so happy and she'd been so sad this past year."

Emily flinches.

"Did she leave you a letter?" Jennifer asks. "All I got was one line."

Emily nods. "That's why I'm here. Jessie asked me to look after her sisters."

Jennifer regards Emily shrewdly. "I am Jessie's only sister."

"Well," Emily hesitates before continuing. "I wasn't sure how else to refer to Jessie's Faerie Princess."

And just like that, Jennifer's whole face lights up. "You drew the picture in Jessie's bedroom!"

Emily blushes and nods. "Yes."

She grins. "It's beautiful!"

"Thank you," Emily mumbles.

Jennifer bites her lip. "Why did she do it, Emily?"

Emily flinches. "I'll tell you everything that I know when you're a bit older Jennifer."

Icy blue eyes glare at her. "I-"

Emily holds up a hand to stall her protests, "But for now I'll tell you that Jessie was miserable, so miserable that she thought she would never be happy again."

"Oh." Jennifer whispers, looking devastated.

Emily sighs.

In a quiet voice she whispers, "Can I hug you now?"

Emily blinks back tears and holds out her arms. "Of course, Jenny."

A moment later, Emily has her arms full as Jennifer sobs quietly against her shoulder.

Emily rocks her gently, "Shh! Jenny, it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you."

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AN2: Thank you for reading, please review if you have something to say.


	2. May 1990

AN: Thank you for your reviews, favourites, and followers. I have 5 scenes planned out for this story, but if you would like to see something in particular, please let me know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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Oh we don't know the roads that we're heading down

We don't know if we're lost, that we'll find a way

We don't know if we leave, will we make it home

We don't know, there's hope, then we'll be okay

\- We Don't Know, The Strumbellas

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May 4, 1990

Emily knocks on the front door.

Sandy answers, visibly pregnant. "Hello Emily!" She stands on tiptoes to kiss Emily's cheek.

"Hello Sandy," Emily smiles, "How are you feeling? Jennifer said you'd been a bit peaky."

Sandy pats her protruding stomach affectionately. "I'm glad to be done with morning sickness. Come on in! JJ is upstairs."

Emily blinks in surprise at the name change, but doesn't otherwise react.

"JJ!" She calls up the stairs, "Emily is here!"

Loud stomping can be heard from upstairs. Jennifer appears at the top of the stairs and happily shouts. "Emily!" She runs down the stairs.

Emily catches her. "Hi Jenny!" She whispers.

"Come on!" Jennifer takes Emily's hand. "There's something I want to show you." She pulls Emily out the door.

"Bye Sandy!" Emily waves.

She laughs. "Bye girls!"

Once they're out of sight of the house Jennifer releases Emily's hand and bites her lip. "It's a bit far."

Emily shrugs, "That's okay we can talk on the way. How's soccer going?"

"Great!" Jennifer exclaims. "We've won all of our games so far! Can you stay? We have another game tomorrow."

Emily nods. "I think so, but we'll have to ask your parents first."

"Yay!" Jennifer spins around.

Emily laughs.

Jennifer grabs Emily's hand again. "How were your exams? Did you pass everything?"

"With flying colours!" Emily grins.

Jennifer laughs. "I should have known."

"Where to?" Emily asks pointing first at the forest and then the fields.

"We need to go through the woods," Jennifer nervously looks up at Emily.

"What it is?" Emily asks in concern.

"Nothing!" Jennifer's answer is too quick.

Emily sighs. "I'm moving out of the dorms and into an apartment. So I need to give you my new phone number. Same rules apply: You call whenever you need to talk, but I might not be home or I might only be able to talk for a short while. Okay Jenny?"

"Yes, Emmy." She nods. "Will you have a better roommate?"

Emily snorts. "Yes, Margaret is significantly tidier than Kelly was."

Jennifer brushes her loose hair out of her eyes. "Do you know her already?"

"Yes, I do." Emily offers her a hair tie. "We went to boarding school together for a year in London. We weren't good friends but we were friendly."

Jennifer smiles in thanks and ties back her hair. "Oh. Well at least it's someone you know."

Emily nods and squeezes the small hand clasped in her own. "I heard your mom call you JJ."

Jennifer flinches. "Daddy's been doing it too," she whispers.

Emily frowns. "Have you asked them to stop?"

Jennifer nods.

"Look at me Jennifer." Emily sighs and stops walking.

She looks up.

"Do you want me to ask them to stop?" Emily raises an eyebrow.

"You'll make them angry!" Jennifer pales and her eyes widen.

Emily kneels down in the dirt. "Jennifer. Do you want to be called JJ?"

She shakes her head. "I don't want to be the oldest."

Emily frowns. "Is that a no?"  
Jennifer scuffs her shoe in the dirt. "Mama is having a baby girl."

Emily nods.

"Mama and Daddy have been calling me JJ since they found out." She looks up, pain visible in her blue eyes.

Emily winces.

"It hurts Emily," she whispers. "Every time they call me by her name, it feels like they're replacing me."

"Oh Jennifer," Emily murmurs, her heart breaking for the younger girl. She wraps her arms around Jennifer.

She sniffs. "Will you be my sister too, Emily? I don't want to replace Jessie with you, but I don't want to be the oldest. I don't know how to be the oldest."

"I'd be honoured." Emily kisses the blond head resting on her shoulder. "I've never had a little sister before."

Jennifer leans back and smiles. "Just promise me one thing," she whispers.

"What is it?" Emily asks.

Solemn blue eyes meet calm brown. "Don't ever call me JJ."

"I promise," Emily whispers.

Jennifer smiles happily. "Now as your first big sisterly duty, you have to give me a piggyback ride to the ravine! My legs are so tired from soccer practise!"

Emily bursts out laughing.

They walk through the forest for another twenty minutes before coming to a break in the trees.

"We're here," Jennifer says and slides down, off Emily's back. "Let's find somewhere to sit." She takes Emily's hand in hers and tugs her towards a patch of wildflowers.

"It's beautiful here Jenny," Emily sits down and smiles. "Thank you for showing it to me."

Jennifer sits down next to Emily but she doesn't look at her. She shivers and points to a boulder sticking out over the edge of the ravine. "That's where Jessie was pushed in. I checked to make sure she was breathing and then I ran home for help." She turns haunted blue eyes on Emily. "She was covered in bruises and her clothes were ripped. Last year you said I was too young. Am I old enough now, Emily?"

"Yes." Emily shudders and holds her new little sister close.

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AN2: Thank you for reading, please review if you have something to say.

I have 5 scenes planned out for this story, but if you would like to see something in particular, please let me know.


	3. June 20, 1990

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

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The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.

But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now

mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.

\- J. R. R. Tolkien

* * *

June 20, 1990

3:00 pm

"Emily!" Joe, my boss, yells across the small café.

"Please excuse me." I murmur to the customer I'm supposed to be serving. "Sarah will help you now." I walk towards the back office. "What is it, Joe?"

He scowls at me; "There's someone on the phone for you. You know I don't like you giving out this number."

I wince. "Sorry. I only gave the number to my roommate in case of an emergency. "

He sighs then shrugs. "The guy does sound pretty freaked out."

 _Guy? What guy?_ I wonder to myself and answer the phone. "Hello, this is Emily."

A familiar voice responds, "Emily! It's Roger Jareau. I'm at the hospital with Sandy."

My jaw drops in surprise, "Roger, what's happened?"

He sighs. "Sandy's water broke just over two hours ago."

I frown and mumble, "It's too soon."

"Yes," I can almost hear him flinch. "But that's not actually why I'm calling."

"Oh?" _What could be worse than Sandy possibly losing Jessie's Faerie Princes?_

"Have you heard from JJ?" He asks, hope colouring his voice.

"No." I shake my head. "I've been at work for the past several hours."

"Would she have called your apartment?" His tone is more hesitant now.

"No," I frown. "Jennifer knows my work schedule; she wouldn't have called the apartment. Anyway, Maggie is there and she didn't call me to say anything was wrong. So, what's wrong? Why are you asking me about Jennifer?"

"We left JJ at home and her aunt was supposed to pick her up, but when Charlotte arrived, JJ was gone. We think she's run away." He chokes back a sob.

My heart constricts. _Oh, that's definitely worse._ "Why?" I whisper.

"She was arguing with her mom when Sandy's water broke. Emily, the police want to know where to look." Roger tone changes from defeated to hopeful. "Do you have any ideas?"

I furiously wrack my brain. _Where does Jennifer like to hide?_ "Um. They should try the cemetery and the ravine. I assume they've already checked the tree house, the school, and the soccer fields?"

"Yes. Thank you Emily!" He sighs. "I hate to ask, but can you come here? I can't leave Sandy to look for JJ. She doesn't even know that JJ is missing!"

"Um. I-" I mentally calculate how much money I have in my bank account and wince.

Roger correctly interprets my hesitance. "I will pay for your plane ticket, just say that you'll come!"

I close my eyes in relief. "I'll be on the next flight out."

"Thank you Emily!" He hangs up.

I turn around and see Joe leaning against the wall just out of earshot.

He frowns. "What's wrong Emily? You look terrible."

My head is buzzing. "My sister is missing. She's only 11."

Joe's jaw drops.

I run my fingers through my hair. "I - I need to go. They live far away, I need to take a plane to reach them."

He nods. "Sure, just let me know when you're coming back."

"Thanks," I mumble and attempt to smile. I don't think it works because Joe winces and looks away.

* * *

9:00 pm

I'm paired up with a dark haired, gangly, teenage boy named Raphael. He's Jessie's friend Rafe and he is as surprised to see me, as I am to see him. I shove thoughts of Rafe, and his pen pal Matthew, away and focus on the task at hand. We are told that the woods are the only place left to search as the ravine has already been scoured and the rest of the likely and unlikely places around town have been checked.

We can hear the other search parties calling out for my little sister, but they're calling her JJ. It makes me wince every single time. Rafe, from what I can tell, is also bothered by it.

I've never thought about how to search for a missing child and I'm not sure I ever want to again.

Night has fallen and the sound of dogs barking and howling makes my skin crawl. We continue to comb the woods together, long after several other teams have given up for the evening. Sitting in the back of my mind is the unpleasant thought that maybe, something terrible has happened to her. I'm not sure I could take another blow like that.

"Jennifer!" Rafe bellows off to my right.

I echo him: "Jennifer!"

"Emily?" Comes a small voice to my left.

I freeze in my tracks and shine my flashlight around at waist level. "Where are you Jenny?"

The soft voice speaks again, "Up here."

I raise my flashlight to the trees and see a pair of blue and grey sneakers just above my head.

"Is it really you, Emily?" She shakes her head, "No. I must be dreaming. You're hundreds of miles away. Maybe the hellhounds have eaten me and I'm in Annwyn. Do you think Jessie will be here with the Faerie Princess soon?" She yawns, "Do faeries like pancakes? I like pancakes."

"It really is me, Jennifer." I laugh, delighted to have found her.

"Come down, drama Queen!" Rafe calls up to her.

Jennifer blinks owlishly at him. "I'm definitely dreaming. There is no way the two of you would be here, together."

I put my hands on my hips and scowl. "Jennifer Louise Jareau, you scared the hell out of me! So much so, that I hopped on the first plane available. Come down right now, so I can smother you in a hug."

She frowns. "I couldn't even if I wanted too. I'm stuck."

Rafe bursts out laughing.

"It's not nice to laugh Rafael." Jennifer scowls. "Do it again and I'll tell Emily about the time you and Steve c-"

He stops laughing immediately and cuts her off. "I'll come up and get you. I know we taught you how to climb trees years ago, Jennifer. Maybe next weekend we should go over how to climb back down again, okay?"

She smiles triumphantly. "Okay!"

Rafe climbs up the tree, all the while muttering about why in the hell Jennifer climbed all the way up there.

"I was scared," she whispers just loud enough for me to hear. "I heard the hellhounds and thought there were going to eat me!"

"You heard the search dogs Jennifer!" he growls. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

She flinches. "I'm sorry."

Rafe sighs, "I'm sorry for snapping at you. Climb onto my back and I'll get you down."

Once Jennifer is safely on the ground, I grab her by the shoulders and shake her slightly. "Don't you ever, run away again! Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Emily." She nods, her blue eyes wide.

"Not unless you have somewhere, or someone to run to." I lean in and kiss her forehead.

Jennifer gins up at me, "Can I run to you then?"

I wrap my arms around her and give into the overwhelming desire to cry.

"Shh!" She whispers and pats my back.

I stand up, Jennifer still wrapped in my arms.

She gives a small gasp of surprise before instinct takes over: she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck.

Rafe uses his flashlight to light our way back to the house.

Jennifer rests her head on my shoulder and whispers in my ear. "It's all my fault."

"What is?" I whisper back.

"I was fighting with mama because she wanted to turn Jessie's bedroom into a nursery and then her water broke and I was so scared Emily! It's too early for the baby to come now. Mama said she's not due for another 9 weeks! The baby is going to die Emily and it's all my fault!"

"It's not your fault," I whisper. "We'll call your dad as soon as we get to the house and he can tell you what's going on with your mama the baby."

"He's going to be so angry!" She shudders in my arms.

I cross my fingers and lie. "I'm sure it'll be okay."

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AN: Thank you for reading. Please review if you have something to say.


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